It is sort of inevitable that the festival of all things consumerism would leave a few people dissatisfied. I could go into a philosophical discussion, but I may fall out of my depth pretty quickly.

I quick search for "unwanted present" - after a tip off from the radio this morning - revealed interesting conclusions that show society in a very bad light. Among the Playstation's and Spice Girls tickets, was an interesting rant against unwanted presents trying to sell a bizarre item.

CRAP UNWANTED CHRISTMAS PRESENT. That is, a bike-shaped wine bottle holder. The reason for the sale, the item is apparently evil!

This is the gift from hell, I am sure that if I throw it out it will appear in some strange place in my home, hanging from the chandelier (as if I would have one) or I would wake up in the darkest hours of the night hearing it creaking along the hallway.

Yes, dear. I'm sure the tiny little model is out to get you! Especially after you have stolen it's wine.

As well as offering advice on what to do with the Evil Bike - includes a plan for next October, "scaring trick or treaters" - Mr Seller is also offering to throw in a lot of uneaten Christmas sweet stuff presents. Sounds like someone who is hard to please, and single-handedly summing up what the Christmas season means to most people (and Tesco).